


Stronger

by Deastar



Series: To Be Seen Aright [8]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Jewelry, M/M, sub/dom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 00:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19052050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deastar/pseuds/Deastar
Summary: Sid lets out a long breath. “I’ve thought a lot about this – about what a collar is, and the stuff it represents, and which parts of that I’m okay with and which parts I’m not.” And the fruits of that thinking brought him here: to the living room of their shared house, on an afternoon no different from any other except that this was the afternoon he felt ready.





	Stronger

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [chickenlivesinpumpkin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chickenlivesinpumpkin/pseuds/chickenlivesinpumpkin) for looking this over for me!

Sid holds his breath as Geno unwraps the slender box and lifts the lid.

At first, Geno is confused, but he’s a smart guy – Sid can see him recognizing the length of the chain, recognizing its gold color and delicate thinness. When he looks up at Sid, Sid can tell he understands.

Carefully, Geno says, “Sid, this… is mean a lot. But I tell you before, is okay you don’t want thing on neck. I’m never push you about this.”

Sid lets out a long breath. “Yeah. I’ve thought a lot about this – about what a collar is, and the stuff it represents, and which parts of that I’m okay with and which parts I’m not.” And the fruits of that thinking brought him here: to the living room of their shared house, on an afternoon no different from any other except that this was the afternoon he felt ready.

Geno nods, looking interested. He places the box on the coffee table—not like he’s putting it away, more like he’s temporarily setting it aside—and asks, “What parts of collar not okay?”

Sid sighs again and sits on the edge of the sofa, hands clasped to keep them from shaking. “I’m not a thing,” he starts, trying like hell to keep his voice even. “I’m not property, like a dog. I’m a person. And you can’t own a person. Not anymore. So the part of a collar that’s a mark of—of ownership, the part of a collar that says I’m your _property—_ ” Sid can’t help spitting the word. “—is not okay with me.” He holds his breath, looking up at Geno quickly before he loses his nerve.

But Geno just nods again and steps closer to Sid. Quietly, he replies, “You not… not thing. I know this.”

Now that that’s established, Sid rushes to say, “I don’t want you to think that… fuck.” He bites the inside of his cheek, hard, wishing he had a better way to say this. “Look, I’m… I’m yours.”

Geno’s eyes crinkle up at the corners, and he brushes his fingertips over Sid’s cheek, just lightly. “Yes. Mine,” he agrees.

“I _want_ to be yours,” Sid stresses. “I _like_ being yours.”

“Thank you,” Geno says, which throws Sid off-balance. When he sees Sid’s surprise, Geno smiles a little and says, “I’m not, how you say… take for granted?”

“That’s… I’m glad,” Sid says, shaky. He ducks his head, breaking eye contact to give himself a moment to regroup. With his head still bowed, he explains, “It’s really hard to talk about this, because I’m scared that telling you I… don’t think of myself as your property, or think of you as my—my owner… that you’d think it meant I didn’t think of myself as yours, or didn’t want to _be_ yours—”

“No,” Geno says swiftly, sitting beside Sid and taking Sid’s hands between his own. “I’m never think, okay, Sid? I know is different, say thing is mine and say person is mine.” For a moment, he’s silent, putting his words in order; Sid waits, enjoying the warmth of Geno’s hands wrapped around his.

When he’s arranged his thoughts, Geno squeezes Sid’s hands and says, “Person who is mine—you—is _choose_ mine. Can change your mind. You decide who you belong. _If_ you belong,” he amends, and Sid’s heart skips a beat at the fact that Geno knows the difference – that Geno knows Sid doesn’t need a dom to be whole. “I know what you mean, Sid, when you say you not my thing. Not anybody’s thing.” He presses a kiss to Sid’s cheek. “Don’t mean you not mine.”

Sid breathes out slowly, letting himself lean against Geno’s side. “I’m… yeah. That’s exactly right.”

A big part of the thinking that he’d done before offering Geno the necklace had been about this very thing: about the relentless campaign by so much of the world to try and turn Sid into a thing rather than a person. And the worst, most insidious part of that campaign is that its true end goal is to get Sid to _join in_ – to become complicit in the grinding away of his innermost self. And to Sid, try though he might to think of it in some other way, that’s how a collar feels: like announcing to the world, every day, that he’s given in. That he’s decided it’s easier, or just _better_ , to go along and be a thing.

The first few times Sid tried to imagine saying that to Geno, though, it terrified him. Part of the campaign—the constant push to turn subs into something less than people—is teaching subs that being treated like a thing is what love _is_ , so all the language that Sid has for talking about love and commitment and devotion is language of possession. Of ownership. They haven’t made the words, yet, for what he wants to be to Geno, and wants Geno to be to him. And that’s even _before_ you get to the literal, English-Russian language barrier.

But Sid knew he had to try, and he just hoped he could do it well enough to keep from breaking anything between him and Geno. From the way Geno responded—with understanding, and gratitude—Sid thinks he did all right.

“Scary for you, to say this,” Geno rumbles, mirroring the train of Sid’s thoughts. “But is good we talk about.” He lets go of Sid’s hands to wrap a comforting arm around Sid’s shoulders, instead, and it chases the last little bit of nervous tension from Sid’s muscles.

On an exhale, Sid replies, “Yeah. I think so, too.”

“So. What parts of collar okay?” Geno asks.

This stuff is way, way easier – the contrast is so strong that Sid almost laughs.

“Well, first,” he explains, “it’s a kind of bondage, right? And that I like.”

“Sid like bondage?” Geno’s voice is high with mock-surprise, and Sid can feel his smile against Sid’s temple.

“I like _your_ bonds,” Sid responds, which makes Geno shiver. His hand flexes on Sid’s shoulder, and that feels good, too. Sid tries not to get distracted.

He explains, “I’d like being bound by you in a way that I can carry around all the time. So that’s a good part of a collar.”

“So chain,” says Geno, nodding. He lifts Sid’s gift out of the box, one-handed, and lets it tangle between his fingers. The necklace chain is a perfect match for the one holding up Sid’s 87 pendant. “You want I bind you, but necklace like this, so thin, so nice, is only for person. Is not thing that wear necklace like this.”

“Yeah,” Sid says, because that’s a big part of why he picked out this particular piece of jewelry to offer Geno as a sign of his submission. “But it’s also because… this way, it can be private. It’s not just the bondage part of it – a collar is an acknowledgement of a relationship, and I like that part of it, too. I _want_ to acknowledge what I am to you, but… you know what I’m like.”

Sid can feel himself flushing red, but he’s getting a lot better at not being ashamed of the form his submission takes, and he keeps talking. “For better or for worse, you know my submission is… private. It’s just for the two of us. Nobody else gets to see that part of me. So the idea of wearing something that would be big and obvious, that everyone would notice, just… didn’t feel right.”

Geno considers that, and Sid holds his breath, but eventually Geno nods and says, “No, you right. Just for us, yes?” He smiles at Sid, fond and sweet. “So you wear this instead of chain you have now, and nobody know but us that is different. But when I see you wear, _I_ know.” He drops a kiss in Sid’s hair and makes a pleased noise. “And when you see, _you_ know. Know you mine.”

_Huh_ , Sid thinks. It hadn’t occurred to him that Geno would think that was where Sid was going, although now that he’s heard it, Sid has to admit that’s a more intuitive solution than what he was actually planning.

He begins, “So, um, sort of.”

Geno gives him a quizzical look, which, fair. A little more explanation is required.

So Sid continues, “I was thinking that maybe I’d wear… both.” This is probably the weirdest part, and maybe Geno won’t like it, but Sid wants to try, because he thinks it’s right. He leans back enough to meet Geno’s eyes, to make sure he understands, and explains, “I thought you could thread the chain through the 87, and it could hang from both chains. People might notice that there’s two chains,” he acknowledges, unable to stop his voice from cracking with nerves, “but the important thing is that the necklace… it—it would be stronger, then. Harder to break. Just like…” He swallows around the lump in his throat. “Like I am with you. Stronger.”

“Sid—”

Sid finds himself crushed up against Geno’s chest, held more tightly than he thinks he’s ever been held. Geno is—shit, he’s _crying_ a little, but Sid can tell it’s good crying, so he doesn’t freak out.

Eventually, Geno relaxes his hold a little. He whispers, hoarse, “I think, for long time… I know you don’t need me, Sid. You don’t need dom. For years, you do so good with no dom, so I know you don’t need. I know you love me. I know is good, what I do for you. But I don’t think…” He shakes his head. “I make you stronger,” he says, hushed, wondering. “I don’t know this. But is what I want always, Sid. So strong already, I know. But I always want.”

“You do,” Sid promises, his own voice a little clogged. He reaches out for the chain, still tangled in Geno’s fingers, and brushes his own fingers over it. “Will you put this on me?”

“Yes,” Geno says, low and solemn. He opens the clasp—so small in his big hands—and delicately threads the narrower end through the loop keeping Sid’s 87 on his old chain. When he closes the clasp again at the back of Sid’s neck, they both shiver in tandem.

“Look beautiful, Sid.” Geno’s eyes are hungry. His hand is warm and heavy on Sid’s neck, and Sid can feel himself sinking down.

“Looking beautiful is nice,” he says, a little fuzzy. “Mostly I just wanted to look like yours.”

Geno makes a strangled sound, then kisses Sid with dangerous heat. “Always look like mine.”

“It isn’t a collar,” Sid warns Geno one last time, clinging on to the last little bit of his rational, clear-headed brainpower.

“No,” Geno agrees, smiling. “My good Sid, smart Sid, find something that fit us good, more than collar. And I like. And I show you how much I like, I think,” he adds, voice honey-sweet, hands irresistible on Sid’s skin. “Spoil you most.”

“Please,” Sid whispers, and he gives himself up to Geno.

**Author's Note:**

> All feedback is loved (including concrit)! Just copying and pasting a line or two that stood out to you means a lot.
> 
> I'm also on [tumblr](https://youhideastar.tumblr.com)!


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